Comments for Getting Divorced after 26 Years… Where to Start? at http://belleruthnaparstek.com , comment 1 to 7 out of 7 comments http://belleruthnaparstek.com Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:23:25 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-696 Della, I can also relate as I've been divorced for 2 yrs after a 39 yr marriage to a subtly abusive man who was career military. Abuse is insidious to say the least. He is also an alcoholic in denial & the alcohol was always present. Unfortunately, martial counseling w/an abuser is pretty much useless. Statistics show only a very minute number of abusers ever change. I found a therapist who practices heart centered therapy and am finally in the process of healing. I just recently purchased Ms Naparstek's PTSD & fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue CDs. I highly recommend them both. I still cry when I listen to them, but that's ok. Tears are healing. Please be kind & patient with yourself. You will heal. PS, I am highly offended by the inappropriate comment left by echo foxtrot & I completely agree w/beenthere. - Catrinka Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:30:12 +0100 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-695 You will feel better after a while. It wouldn't surprise me if 'echo foxtrot' is an ex military man guilty of domestic violence. They always play the victim and rarely take responsibility for what they have done. Take control of your life and resolve to heal. You will get there. - beenthere Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:02:56 +0100 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-672 Della, my prayers are with you. I too went through a divorce last year after almost 30 years of marriage & years of verbal & emotional abuse -- I began using Belleruth's guided imagery while recovering from breast cancer 7 years ago. To help with sleep issues, I played the sleep CD sometimes 2 & 3 times a night. July 31, 2008, the divorce was final, Aug. 15th I moved to a new city, Aug 18th began a new job with health benefits(!) and Aug. 29th turned 60 -- for me, life began at 60, for the first time living alone & truly being in a good place. I thank God & guided imagery for healing and the healing continues!I'm currently using the relaxation and wellness CD. I have also introduced many friends to guided imagery & it will always be a part of my life! (Also, my daughter who is a pediatric occupational therapist & 8 months pregnant (1st grandchild!) loves the prenatal CD & plans to use it in the delivery room). - Mary Sun, 21 Jun 2009 11:02:36 +0100 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-670 Della, I too went through an abusive relationship - for 12 years. Although, my ordeal was not as rough as yours. I worked for a verbally abusive and sadistic boss for those 12 years. Finally, I'd had enough and quit, even though I was the sole support of myself and didn't have another job yet. First, I listened to the Self Confidence CD and then, later, to the Healing Trauma CD two and three times a day for weeks. I cried, I cried, and I cried. I released, I healed, and I got strong. Now, I'm on my way to a new career, and the strength I gained from listening to Belleruth's CDs has been instrumental in this journey. Blessings to you and to your heart. May this new part of your journey be an exciting one. - Heartsong Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:52:10 +0100 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-667 echo foxtrot, I agree with your observation about women victimizing men as well. However, your implication that mean are victimized more therefore resulting in higher post-divorce suicide rates does not logically follow. Some of those suicides are the very men who were abusive and neglectful of their wives, completely out of touch with any emotions including their own and unable to adjust to the change, loss of status. - Renee Hopkins Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:20:10 +0100 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-665 Della, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for this difficult situation you are facing in your life. I have been suffering through the pains of betrayal and divorce this last year--I always thought I would be happily married forever because I was such a dedicated and loyal wife. I loved my husband deeply. This divorce is the absolute most difficult thing I have ever had to go through in my life. I am sure you and I are experiencing similar emotions and feelings. I have to say, Belleruth's Healing Trauma (PTSD) disc is the most AMAZING...AMAZING!!! and nurturing help I have had through all of this pain. I would recommend you get that disc ASAP! I absolutely LOVE it!! The Healing Trauma disc is truly inspired work and I am so GRATEFUL to Belleruth for this masterpiece. It has helped me through life's most difficult days and lowest lows. It really will lift your spirits, give you validation, help you through, and empower you! It is so nurturing and has been such a blessing and source of strength for me. I cannot say enough good about it. The Healing Trauma disc works immediately...the first few times I listened to it I just cried and it was very emotional...it expressed perfectly my feelings...in the most amazing way...It was so GOOD!! So beneficial. And as I continue to listen--different parts impact me at different times. I wish you peace and comfort during these difficult days. I know Belleruth's Healing Trauma disc will help you through! Best wishes to you, Lisa - Lisa Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:58:38 +0100 http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ask-belleruth/getting-divorced-after-26-years-where-to-start.html#comment-663 Of course, women victimize men in relationships (and in divorce courts!) every bit as often. The research shows that the post-divorce suicide rate for men doubles, but remains unchanged for women. - echo foxtrot Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:36:48 +0100