This is a shoutout for your materials, especially the Relieve Stress, Confidence and Affirmations - I use one of them every day and have been for the past month.  

More and more, we’re learning to reconsider the way we view animals and our relationship with them.  Check out this remarkable video of a touching reunion between a man (Damien Aspinall) and a gorilla (Kwibi) who just can’t bear to part with him again, after years of separation.  Check it out.  Their powerful bond never diminished. Click here.

Dear Belleruth:

After being married for 33 years to the same man since I was 21 years old, I have asked for a divorce. He has been unable to change his emotionally & verbally abusive behaviors, in spite of counseling. In October, I discovered he was having a sexual affair (2nd time) with a woman younger than him (he is 58, she 45). He said he wanted a divorce, that he has been unhappy a long time. I said fine, I will make this happen.

I am fed up with him, but I feel so sad, heartbroken really, in spite of the problems.  What do you suggest for all the emotional upheavals? Please change my name to Kathie. Do not give my last name or email.

-Kathie
 

The most viral answer to any question I’ve ever offered - it’s been all over the internet several times over in the past few years - was the answer I gave to “Why do nice girls fall for bad boys?”.
 
I answered this in my erstwhile capacity as special mental health professional advisor to that plucky superhero, Breakup Girl (“When it’s over, she’ll be right over”), created by the ingenious Lynn Harris. I was reminded of my old gig when I began working on the new CD for heartbreak, abandonment and betrayal.

I suspect one reason this was such a popular Q and A was the way Lynn so brilliantly translated my hypotheses into her own dazzling, zippy, GenX prose.  Here it is, one more time.  Breakup Girl writes:

Question:
 
I am currently in therapy and have been working on issues related to past childhood sexual abuse. Do you have any CDs that you narrate to address positive sexuality, relaxation during partner sex, and/or any CDs that address sexual and emotional intimacy? If you don't personally narrate any - do you have recommendations as to what might be a good imagery CD to purchase that addresses these areas? Thanks so much for your direction - your CDs have been so valuable to my progress and healing.  Serena

I just finished reading your book on intuition and I feel like you were talking to me personally.  I relate to everything you describe.  I am a 42 year old empath who has been psychic all my life.  I am blessed that my gift guides me in everything I do.

My question has to do with a deep knowing that a man at work is meant for me. I knew from the first time I saw him that he was my true soul mate, but he is very shy.  He doesn’t respond to our connection.  I believe his shyness keeps him at a distance.

Anyone who’s ever worked in an office or served on a large, longstanding committee probably knows this scenario – when you find yourself getting overly aggravated, disrupted or distracted by an angry, dysfunctional fellow worker.  

Check out this excellent advice from psychotherapist Phillip Chard, who suggests guided imagery.  When having a reasonable conversation isn’t an option, going inward with guided imagery is the way to go:

Dear Belleruth,

I have a question about your affirmations.  I have been listening to the Anger & Forgiveness affirmations. This CD (and others) includes the affirmation that "I can avoid re-injuring by myself with repeated visits to past wounds."

Yet, doesn't it sometimes make sense, to examine the past in order to overcome it? What is the difference between "repeated visits to past wounds" and confronting past pain in a therapeutic context?  Please clarify this issue for me as I find it somewhat confusing.

Thank you.
Mike

Question:  
I have a question. Obviously I made up a name because it is possible that a particular person could figure out who I am by reading my question [Ed. Note: We always change the name unless specifically asked not to].

My question: what suggestions do you have for a person in crisis who is diagnosed with PTSD and depression/anxiety, and now possibly RAD (reactive attachment disorder) and has to end therapy w/ my first and only therapist after almost two and a half years of meeting twice a week, due to financial issues.